This morning I am on my way to a much needed yoga class. The cell phone rings. "Mrs.Bee? I know you aren't taking Bunny to school until later but I missed my bus and I need a ride. Can you come get me?" This is my youngest's best and oldest friend,a real sweetie that has two parents that work. And she missed her bus. Again.
Detour. Miss yoga class. Pick up Friend and drop her at school even though I am not even taking my own child to school this morning. Did I mention school is not my nearby public school? And Friend is not anywhere near my neighborhood?
But what do you do? The school is too far for her to walk. Her parents would have to leave work to come get her and that is assuming they could leave right away. Schools these days really frown on tardies. Bus drivers are erratic and sometimes just plain loony. I guess I am a sucker for a kid in need, but she became my morning errand. She was grateful. Her mother will be grateful. That's assuming Friend tells her, because mom gets mad when she misses the bus. Sometimes we just keep it to ourselves.
Which makes me think of the other kids I mother on a part time basis. We live in an upper middle class area. Some people would consider this a rich area. A master planned area with brick homes and nice businesses and happy families. But not really.
When Boy was in middle school I realized that all of these families aren't happy. First there was the friend that moved to L.A. and then back again in the course of four months. He spent the night at our house and the mom called, not concerned about the child, but wanting to make sure I hung up his official Kobe Bryant jersey so it didn't get ruined. Kobe Bryant-now there's a child's role model. Then the parents separated. The mom ended up in jail. The boy and his sister lived with grandma. Then dad is found dead in his apartment. We finally lost track of that child-another move or three and he is gone from our lives.
Another friend whose mother seems erratic. She says she will pick the boys up but shows up three hours later. Or asks me to pick her son up from her house because she has car trouble. She is there with the tow-truck driver when I pull up and I get the distinct impression that she will be bartering herself as payment for this tow. And then the day the grandma drops him off and says "His mom is not allowed to have contact. If she tries to pick him up, don't let him go. Mom has gotten hooked on prescription pain killers.". This child becomes a regular at our house, asks me if it is ok if he can come over whenever. By high school his life has settled down although mom has never returned. He says as long as he doesn't know where she is, she is still probably alive. If she were dead then someone would contact his grandma. A mighty big lesson to learn at 14.
And recently. Bunny comes home and says "Le will be staying with us the next week. Her house sold and they can't move into the new one until next week. So she needs a place to stay. Le's parents don't speak much English so I never discuss this with them. Le comes home on the bus and her dad drops a suitcase off later-so at least he does know where she is.
Then Boy says "Tyler needs to stay with us a while. His mom kicked him out. He doesn't get along with his dad." Tyler is well behaved and independent but also has many issues-ADHD, dyslexic, dropped out of school last year two months before graduating. I make sure he gets up and goes to school. I tell Boy to help him with homework. I wonder how we got "custody". But no one else seems to want him.
These are the children that will be our future. They will run businesses. They will be parents. They will be taking care of us. I am glad that I am in the position to help. But it really hits home. It truly does take a village to raise our children.
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